Torts is finally rich
heading to sleep after a long day’s work
he isn’t sleeping. this is torts’ really tasteless “dead kurt cobain” impression. no one laughed when he did it. you’re wrong for that one torts
torts had a few too many ha he forgot to take the beers off himself
this isn’t torts this is this guy pat and last night i put a bunch of golf course flags on him
torts tried to smoke the world’s biggest cigarette and it knocked him right out
look at those bad boys though, damn! i would’ve been tuckered out too. you’re alright torts, you’re alright.
come on torts at least have the decency to close your porn tabs before you pass out
what’s on your mind, torts?
torts awoke in a cold sweat. “whew! what a dream!” he said. But oh no, torts, it wasn’t a dream at all…
the ghostly friend whispered haunting things into torts’ ear, turning his dreams into nightmares.